by Johnny Nys
"I went to the doctor the other day."
"Why? Is something wrong?"
"Well, you know I get sick a lot lately. More than the
average person, at least. So I decided to have a full check-up. See if there
was something seriously messed up."
"So did he find anything?"
"Not really. Everything's fine. Except my weight, of
"Your weight? Are you serious?"
"Yep. He made quite a fuss about it. Don't eat this, but eat
that instead. But I told him I already eat what he suggests all the time. I
just don't get it. My weight stays the same no matter what diet I follow.
It's maddening sometimes."
"What about exercising? Create some muscle tissue instead of
fat. Ever tried that?"
"Yep, but I'm afraid I don't have the character for it. I
used to do push-ups for a while, go jogging every evening, but I gradually
stopped that. Things kept coming up, you know how it is..."
"Maybe you need a coach. I'll be glad to help out if you
want. We'll work out an entire schedule, get you in shape in no time."
"Really? That's nice. I really want to do something about
it, you know. But I don't think it'll help, though. My guess is it's
genetic. What other explanation can you give?"
"What about stress? That's known to cause weight problems."
"That's ridiculous. I love my work. No big responsibilities,
no deadlines. No problems there."
"What about love?"
"Got a steady girlfriend. We're already talking about
marriage. Still a long way in the future, of course, but we're discussing
it. So everything's fine there, too."
"Something else that's bothering you maybe? Family? The war,
perhaps? That one's keeping everyone busy lately. I know you always get
worked up about traffic in this city, ever thought about that?"
"Yeah, but it isn't giving me heart attacks or anything. I
still sleep well at night, if that's what you're wondering about. No
nightmares, at least none that I can remember."
"So, no psychological cause either?"
"Guess not, but of course you can't really be sure of that
until you see a professional therapist or something."
"But those guys do more harm than good."
"That's what I told the doctor when he suggested one."
"So he thinks it's psychological as well?"
"Guess so. He laughed when I suggested some sort of genetic
defect. He refused to do any tests in that field. He's convinced it's only
the food giving me trouble."
"So what's next?"
"I'll just have to wait. I'm sure I'll reach my ideal weight
eventually. Maybe it'll come with age. Perhaps I should start drinking,
develop a beer belly or something. Anything that'll keep me from getting
blown away with each breeze."
"I know. But it's so frustrating. All over you see ads about
how to lose weight. But when you're underweight, no info on how to deal with
"How much do you need to gain?"